Importance - a value that make sense only to the giver

This entry is way overdue. I was really busy with family, work and me. But mostly with myself. I got walk-the-talk you see.

These days when I start my first sessions with new clients, I make sure that they understand the most important thing in their lives is themselves. I am not asking them to be selfish. Let me explain...

Everyday, we felt that the reason why we do not have time for ourselves is because everything else is very important.

Question: Who give value of importance to these things? They are important to you but if you do not 'exist' anymore, can they still be important?

Honestly, those questions do not need a genius to answer. That's what I was doing. Taking care of myself especially when I am extremely busy. I need time alone to breathe properly. I am not joking. Breathe properly changes a person's state. In layman term, a person's emotion.

Let me be thrifty in my words. Compare the rate of survival when you go without:-
1. Food
2. Water
3. Oxygen

I rest my case... I am going to breathe now... all the way to my diaphragm. How relaxing!

Are you overwhelmed by issues that do not exist?

Refering to a blog that I posted on 16 July 2009, our perception of deadlines can "kill" us mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Recently I have many clients coming to me because they were having anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Most of them wanted to learn to rely on themselves to handle their mind so that they could be rid of their reliance on medication. Of course, I am not a doctor to certify if they are ok to go off medication but I advised that they observe for themselves, the improvement in their daily lives after their treatment with me and to seek confirmation from their doctors whether they could go off medication.

There was a particular case of depression due to overwhelming deadlines to meet and plans to develop. All these were in his mind playing like a broken record. Every morning when he awakes, the thought of the magnitude of responsibilities simply weighed him down.

During our first session, I guided him to relaxed his mind so that he could see things in proportion. During our second session, I mixed the techniques and did some charting out of the responsibilities that were weighing on him and to our surprise! Everything, except for one, has either been completed and needed only some amendments or is too distant to even be bothered by it.

See how our mind can play tricks on us when we are not in control of it? Calm down and you will be able to see things in proper perspective. If you can't do that, get help.

Where is the fire?

Recently I have a client who told me that he suddenly lost the fire in doing what he is currently doing. He doesn't know why. He doesn't understand why what used to spur him on no longer has that effect.

Well, the answer is all in you. Have you been listening to your mind recently? What are the things that actually cause you to smile and get all excited? Could you try aligning the purpose of what you are doing with what you are interested in?

We need to grow. It is a natural process in us. Our mind will actually drop hints and if you are more aware of them, you will always be able to motivate yourself. After we have taken care of our basic needs, it may probably be time to seek self-actualisation.

For example, you may be a businessman who used to care only about productivity but recently, the figures no longer intrigue you. In fact, you are begining to see no meaning to put in much effort. You are begining to look around at the life of humanity. Your interest in wanting a better world begin to grow ever stronger.

Hey pal! Don't you see it? You are making enough for yourself already. You no longer see and feel the need to push for more but the practical businessman side of you of course will insist that that's very important. You are seeking to be involved in more meaningful things. Then could you not consider aligning your purpose of doing sales with increasing your funding towards activities that help make a better world?

Of course for some, it may need more coaching than this. But generally, this method can be used to seek out your life purpose.

Sleep

In recent weeks, most of my sessions concentrate on helping people to sleep better. I have decided that this is of the utmost importance because without proper rest, we simply cannot function at our best.

Some comes in with many issues while others come in not knowing what's bothering them. However, one big commonality was they were losing sleep. Thus, my first aim is to improve their sleep. Often enough, they will return on the second session happier and less troubled.

So give yourself time to rest. If you think depriving yourself rest will buy you more time at work or achieving your goals, you may end up getting no where.

"There's many path to Happy. Pick one." A Stranger's Heart

The statement was made to the lead female character in the show. She was so focused on establishing a relationship with the little girl whose mother's heart was now transplanted into her, she lost the ability to enjoy her new life. She was so fixated that the little girl was the only way to happiness as the heart beat for the girl that she turn away happiness at her door step.

This show made me realised that we often mixed up being focused with being attached. The power of focus is amazing yet when one becomes overly focused, they may develop obsession. This is extremely dangerous as it will be difficult for you to 'cut loses' when what you are "focused" on did not turn out to be a success.

Man's Ego

Whether man's ego is at play is shown through their approach to things around them. For when approaches are built on love, no offence will be taken. You can tell a person in the face that they are wrong, no offence will be taken as love is the bridge to that communication of the deed or message.

As our mind registers our love for mankind, the words spoken and the actions taken will ripple off the care and concern instead of the need to be right and respected. The receiving party will inevitably feel that it was all for their benefit.

The Biology of Perception

Recently, I bought a DVD on The Biology of Perception & The Psychology of Change by Dr. Bruce Lipton & Rob Williams.


Dr. Bruce Lipton's findings on how our perception causes the changes in our body stayed with me as it explains very well the reason of us falling ill and getting body aches when we are under too much stre...ss and tension.

You will probably find his video on Youtube. There are 7 parts to it, I find the last few to be most intriguing.
 
According to him, cells within us can only travel in one direction. When we are under pressure, we react in the flight or fight mode. This means we will instinctively want to use our legs and hands to protect ourselves, thus more cells will travel towards our limbs leaving our brain and our body to function at the minimal rate of efficiency and effectiveness. No wonder we fall sick so easily, get bodyaches, headaches so easily when we are stressed up. The most important thing is, don't expect yourself to be intelligent during such situation.
 
Therefore, it is important for us to manage our mind so that it is not led by our emotions causing us not able to be able to see things in proportion.