How I wish they are more understanding?

Do you hear yourself saying that when you are under stress and not getting the support you were looking for in your partners?

Many of us do especially when we are going through a rough patch in our lives. We often start to wonder if they are really our soul mate and if so, why do we feel we are getting more support from our friends than them. From them, it is more pressure than anything else.

However, I have come to understand how our lives are so interwined that they sometimes got more anxious than us. They are so "into" us that they forgot that our problems are not theirs. They started to take on so much that they felt overwhelmed especially when they have no control over the situation as well as us since it is really not their issues.

What do we do then? Remind ourselves how much they actually love us. Remind them that it is really our issues to handle and they best they can do for us is to be there for us to lean on. If that doesn't work, stop talking about your issues with them. Give them a break and that too serve as a healthy break for yourself. You can always blog or speak to someone who is less involved to get a more objective opinion.

Don't allow the situation to create a gap between the two of you in the name love.

Do you ever get stressed?

This is actually a rather common question I get from my clients. To them, they cannot imagine me getting stressed because I always appear to be so calm. Oh well, now is a good time to tell you this. I am human too. Stress is a normal thing to have actually. It is a matter of how serious it can go.

The next question is "So what do you do then?" Here's what I really want to share with you especially now that I am going through a seemingly challenging part of my life.

1. I am so blessed that I enjoy consistent and everlasting love from Jesus.
2. I am so happy that I have a soulmate who is ever supportive and gives me a shoulder to cry on.
3. I am really thankful that I have business partners who are my friends and ever so trusting and resourceful.
4. I am grateful that my family is always there for me and my mum is always ready to cook me a good meal.
5. I am so loved by my 10 months old nephew as he will never fail to smile and even laugh out loud with joy when he sees me from a distance or hear my voice.
6. I am so glad that I have friends who are always showing concern and showering me with love.
7. I am greatly blessed to always receive angelic help and miracles when I need one.

That's what I really do when I am feeling overwhelmed by challenges. I count my blessings. I focus on what's working for me in my life so that that will expand. You should too.

Importance - a value that make sense only to the giver

This entry is way overdue. I was really busy with family, work and me. But mostly with myself. I got walk-the-talk you see.

These days when I start my first sessions with new clients, I make sure that they understand the most important thing in their lives is themselves. I am not asking them to be selfish. Let me explain...

Everyday, we felt that the reason why we do not have time for ourselves is because everything else is very important.

Question: Who give value of importance to these things? They are important to you but if you do not 'exist' anymore, can they still be important?

Honestly, those questions do not need a genius to answer. That's what I was doing. Taking care of myself especially when I am extremely busy. I need time alone to breathe properly. I am not joking. Breathe properly changes a person's state. In layman term, a person's emotion.

Let me be thrifty in my words. Compare the rate of survival when you go without:-
1. Food
2. Water
3. Oxygen

I rest my case... I am going to breathe now... all the way to my diaphragm. How relaxing!

Are you overwhelmed by issues that do not exist?

Refering to a blog that I posted on 16 July 2009, our perception of deadlines can "kill" us mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Recently I have many clients coming to me because they were having anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Most of them wanted to learn to rely on themselves to handle their mind so that they could be rid of their reliance on medication. Of course, I am not a doctor to certify if they are ok to go off medication but I advised that they observe for themselves, the improvement in their daily lives after their treatment with me and to seek confirmation from their doctors whether they could go off medication.

There was a particular case of depression due to overwhelming deadlines to meet and plans to develop. All these were in his mind playing like a broken record. Every morning when he awakes, the thought of the magnitude of responsibilities simply weighed him down.

During our first session, I guided him to relaxed his mind so that he could see things in proportion. During our second session, I mixed the techniques and did some charting out of the responsibilities that were weighing on him and to our surprise! Everything, except for one, has either been completed and needed only some amendments or is too distant to even be bothered by it.

See how our mind can play tricks on us when we are not in control of it? Calm down and you will be able to see things in proper perspective. If you can't do that, get help.

Where is the fire?

Recently I have a client who told me that he suddenly lost the fire in doing what he is currently doing. He doesn't know why. He doesn't understand why what used to spur him on no longer has that effect.

Well, the answer is all in you. Have you been listening to your mind recently? What are the things that actually cause you to smile and get all excited? Could you try aligning the purpose of what you are doing with what you are interested in?

We need to grow. It is a natural process in us. Our mind will actually drop hints and if you are more aware of them, you will always be able to motivate yourself. After we have taken care of our basic needs, it may probably be time to seek self-actualisation.

For example, you may be a businessman who used to care only about productivity but recently, the figures no longer intrigue you. In fact, you are begining to see no meaning to put in much effort. You are begining to look around at the life of humanity. Your interest in wanting a better world begin to grow ever stronger.

Hey pal! Don't you see it? You are making enough for yourself already. You no longer see and feel the need to push for more but the practical businessman side of you of course will insist that that's very important. You are seeking to be involved in more meaningful things. Then could you not consider aligning your purpose of doing sales with increasing your funding towards activities that help make a better world?

Of course for some, it may need more coaching than this. But generally, this method can be used to seek out your life purpose.

Sleep

In recent weeks, most of my sessions concentrate on helping people to sleep better. I have decided that this is of the utmost importance because without proper rest, we simply cannot function at our best.

Some comes in with many issues while others come in not knowing what's bothering them. However, one big commonality was they were losing sleep. Thus, my first aim is to improve their sleep. Often enough, they will return on the second session happier and less troubled.

So give yourself time to rest. If you think depriving yourself rest will buy you more time at work or achieving your goals, you may end up getting no where.

"There's many path to Happy. Pick one." A Stranger's Heart

The statement was made to the lead female character in the show. She was so focused on establishing a relationship with the little girl whose mother's heart was now transplanted into her, she lost the ability to enjoy her new life. She was so fixated that the little girl was the only way to happiness as the heart beat for the girl that she turn away happiness at her door step.

This show made me realised that we often mixed up being focused with being attached. The power of focus is amazing yet when one becomes overly focused, they may develop obsession. This is extremely dangerous as it will be difficult for you to 'cut loses' when what you are "focused" on did not turn out to be a success.