What's your identity really?

I have recently had a conversation with a friend who just quitted from her job and another who was forced to quit due to the company's effort to downsize.

Both gave me the same sharing of what people around them ask and how they felt. People asked them, "so what are you going to do now?"; "What's next?"; "What are you going to be?"

Reply, "I also don't know yet.", "I will take a break and see how."; "I have not decided yet."

Response "Wow! You quitted without a job?".

And as they continue to recieve such questions and responses, they began to wonder if the decision is a correct one to make. They began to feel loss and insecure. Well, if given enough time after they leave their current job and idle, they may begin to feel down and worthless.

My response to them is why do we have to know what's our next job or next move? Why do we not spend time finding out what we really want to be? Have we come to a stage where our identity is based on our profession, status and money? Then who are we when we were first born?

Let me share with you who I am. I am Joyce, a happy and secured person who love spending my time with the people I love and do the things I enjoy. Although there are times when I fall short of being so, it doesn't take much effort to pick myself up again. I don't use to be like that until I have decided that ultimately, I want to be happy and feel secure and spending time with my family is extremely important to me. Every decision I make needs to satisfy one ultimate question.

Does the job take away my time from my loved ones? If yes, I will not do it. Move on! Don't look back! Decisions become so simple to make.

Don't forget that we are working for a living and not living to work. Work is just a tool, nothing more, nothing less. Building your identity around it is like building your house next to a volcano. The ground seems fertile and rewarding, just wait till the volcano erupts, the price to pay is even greater!

Hypnothised Myself to Sleep

I have recently injured my back. Every movements hurts. Deep breathing hurts. Sneezing, coughing, laughing - all of it hurts. It's a sharp pain that will make me freeze for a moment.

The worst of it all is, lying down and moving around in bed hurts too. Of course, it means sleeping is an issue. If I were to try to sleep without self-hypnosis, I am sure to be unable to sleep because of the discomfort.

I am glad I know how to do that. At least, until I know what went wrong with my back, I get to sleep so that I can continue my work the next day.

The Healing Party

This is an innovative idea that Bingz came up with initially when we were promoting our services to the public. According to her, there are such parties that's already available in other countries and is apparently quite popular. However, it is not so in Singapore because of people's lack of knowledge in alternative treatments. They still prefer being medicated even though they know such will simply create certain side effects.


After the promotion ended a month or two, a client called up and decided that her friends and she would like to celebrate their birthday differently. They wanted to pay more attention to their health and that's really a great way to set a birthday resolution to take care of one's health.

2 of them started with Bingz for Quantum Touch while the other 2 were with me for HypnoSpa. This was followed by a treat to sugarless, dairy free, eggless mango cake. They felt so relaxed, so happy that you can hear them laughing and giggling in the room while sharing their experiences.

I am really glad we are part of their celebration!

Oh yah! Not forgetting to thank their great Prudential Insurance Agent, Jodan Lim. If she hasn't been an agent who cares about her client's well being and introduce them to the idea, they would not have know about us too.

How I wish they are more understanding?

Do you hear yourself saying that when you are under stress and not getting the support you were looking for in your partners?

Many of us do especially when we are going through a rough patch in our lives. We often start to wonder if they are really our soul mate and if so, why do we feel we are getting more support from our friends than them. From them, it is more pressure than anything else.

However, I have come to understand how our lives are so interwined that they sometimes got more anxious than us. They are so "into" us that they forgot that our problems are not theirs. They started to take on so much that they felt overwhelmed especially when they have no control over the situation as well as us since it is really not their issues.

What do we do then? Remind ourselves how much they actually love us. Remind them that it is really our issues to handle and they best they can do for us is to be there for us to lean on. If that doesn't work, stop talking about your issues with them. Give them a break and that too serve as a healthy break for yourself. You can always blog or speak to someone who is less involved to get a more objective opinion.

Don't allow the situation to create a gap between the two of you in the name love.

Do you ever get stressed?

This is actually a rather common question I get from my clients. To them, they cannot imagine me getting stressed because I always appear to be so calm. Oh well, now is a good time to tell you this. I am human too. Stress is a normal thing to have actually. It is a matter of how serious it can go.

The next question is "So what do you do then?" Here's what I really want to share with you especially now that I am going through a seemingly challenging part of my life.

1. I am so blessed that I enjoy consistent and everlasting love from Jesus.
2. I am so happy that I have a soulmate who is ever supportive and gives me a shoulder to cry on.
3. I am really thankful that I have business partners who are my friends and ever so trusting and resourceful.
4. I am grateful that my family is always there for me and my mum is always ready to cook me a good meal.
5. I am so loved by my 10 months old nephew as he will never fail to smile and even laugh out loud with joy when he sees me from a distance or hear my voice.
6. I am so glad that I have friends who are always showing concern and showering me with love.
7. I am greatly blessed to always receive angelic help and miracles when I need one.

That's what I really do when I am feeling overwhelmed by challenges. I count my blessings. I focus on what's working for me in my life so that that will expand. You should too.

Importance - a value that make sense only to the giver

This entry is way overdue. I was really busy with family, work and me. But mostly with myself. I got walk-the-talk you see.

These days when I start my first sessions with new clients, I make sure that they understand the most important thing in their lives is themselves. I am not asking them to be selfish. Let me explain...

Everyday, we felt that the reason why we do not have time for ourselves is because everything else is very important.

Question: Who give value of importance to these things? They are important to you but if you do not 'exist' anymore, can they still be important?

Honestly, those questions do not need a genius to answer. That's what I was doing. Taking care of myself especially when I am extremely busy. I need time alone to breathe properly. I am not joking. Breathe properly changes a person's state. In layman term, a person's emotion.

Let me be thrifty in my words. Compare the rate of survival when you go without:-
1. Food
2. Water
3. Oxygen

I rest my case... I am going to breathe now... all the way to my diaphragm. How relaxing!

Are you overwhelmed by issues that do not exist?

Refering to a blog that I posted on 16 July 2009, our perception of deadlines can "kill" us mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Recently I have many clients coming to me because they were having anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Most of them wanted to learn to rely on themselves to handle their mind so that they could be rid of their reliance on medication. Of course, I am not a doctor to certify if they are ok to go off medication but I advised that they observe for themselves, the improvement in their daily lives after their treatment with me and to seek confirmation from their doctors whether they could go off medication.

There was a particular case of depression due to overwhelming deadlines to meet and plans to develop. All these were in his mind playing like a broken record. Every morning when he awakes, the thought of the magnitude of responsibilities simply weighed him down.

During our first session, I guided him to relaxed his mind so that he could see things in proportion. During our second session, I mixed the techniques and did some charting out of the responsibilities that were weighing on him and to our surprise! Everything, except for one, has either been completed and needed only some amendments or is too distant to even be bothered by it.

See how our mind can play tricks on us when we are not in control of it? Calm down and you will be able to see things in proper perspective. If you can't do that, get help.